18 weeks

Another appointment in Baltimore. Babies are still both growing and healthy.

I saw the head doctor at Baltimore yesterday, and there hasn’t been much change in the last two weeks. The smaller baby is 34% smaller (up from 38% smaller) — but that number is still in the margin of error, so I’m not holding my breath. All functions for both babies are good, but the smaller baby did have a slightly elevated blood doppler. Right now it’s not a concern, but next week they’ll see if there’s any difference. It could also be b/c they couldn’t get any good measurements on him b/c the boy wouldn’t stop moving! It was so funny to see, and I was secretly pleased. B/c if he’s that active, that’s good, right? The bigger baby is all stretched out though, straightening his legs, etc. The smaller one is in a tight ball, completely curled up.
One thing I hated about yesterday was that the doctor, after looking at the ultrasound and redoing a lot of stuff, said I have a ‘challenging and complicated situation’ — great. Anyway, I’ll be going up to Baltimore for the weekly monitoring for the next two weeks before I start rotating between there and Fairfax. If something does change, he did mention cord occulation –something we won’t even consider unless the smaller baby has absolutely no chance, which he doesn’t right now. This is the procedure where the go in and clamp his cord and he dies in utero. Um, no thank you. He also talked about delivering as early as 30 weeks…once I looked at the calendar later, I panicked! That’s mid February!!!!
So we’re at the same point we were two weeks ago. Still don’t know anything, can’t do anything but wait and monitor. But that’s the best scenario and what we’re wanting.

I’ve decided to call Dr. Julian De Lia. He pioneered the laser surgery used now for TTTS. He’s a huge believer in aggressive nutritional therapy and bed rest.

I’ve been working to mentally prepare myself for all scenarios — including that we have to let the smaller baby die….via laser surgery. It kills me to think about it, but it’s a possibility, so I have to consider what would happen.

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